on nights I hate the way I look.

On nights when I hate the way I look, I walk out of my house without shoes, in my pajamas, and get into my car. I open all of the windows. The moonroof. Have my favorite songs on shuffle.

On nights when I hate the way I look, I make sure to get out at golden hour. Where the sun meets the sea and kisses the clouds. I make sure to remember what it feels like to fall in love.

On nights when I hate the way I look, I make sure to avoid the mirrors. Side and rear. Focus on the emotions. I take a deep breath. Rest my head on the head rest.

On nights when I hate the way I look, I want to kiss the sun and sleep with the moon. Touch the stars and caress the sea. Be everywhere and nowhere. Apart of everything and alone. I want to feel the conflicting emotions that life has while telling myself to feel nothing.

On nights when I hate the way I look I remember I am more than a scale, a photo. More than the way I look. I am made up of the same stuff as the stars. The same stars I admire for their distant beautiful glow.